Episode Nine: Welcome To The Sixties
Season One, Episode Nine
First Aired July 4, 2014
Written By Hinton
Episode Guide

Welcome To The Sixties is the ninth episode of the first season of Glee: A New Generation.

Opening night of Hairspray has arrived and all the cast are nervous, and when things start going wrong Kurt and JP worry that there may not be a show at all. Meanwhile a secret of Jess' gets out causeing tension between some friendships.

Author's Note[edit | edit source]

Hey guys, I just wanted to apologise for how long this episode has taken for me to get published. When I started planning the season I was dead set on Hairspray but eventually lost a lot of drive towards this episode and became VERY lethargic. I want to also apologise because for the past few months I've been through some personal stuff and haven't actually been online very much at all and that has slowed down progress but I'm back bitches and I'm currently writing Spooked and raring to get back into writing most days

Love always

Hint :)

Songs[edit | edit source]

Note: All songs are from Hairspray unless otherwise stated

Episode Nine: Welcome To The Sixties[edit | edit source]

So here's what you missed last time on Glee

Auditions for the musical, Hairspray were held and some people ended up getting characters they hadn't even heard of..

"Miss Anderson you’re playing Vicky”


You tell him Vanessa. Anyway there's still a big power struggle between different groups of New Directions and of course the other choirs

And that's what you missed on Glee

“Okay everyone we have an announcement” Sugar said as she brought the glee club meeting to a close “Due to Hairspray opening next week all glee club meetings have been cancelled so you can rehearse”

“Wait so no glee club at all?” Jake asked

“Don’t sound too excited Mr Williams” Angel laughed “But no, seen as all of you are in Hairspray we’ve cancelled all meetings till Hairspray is over”

“But you’re not escaping us, we’re in charge of hair, makeup and wardrobe so you’re still stuck with us” Sugar grinned as she and Angel high-fived one another

“Awesome so instead of glee club you come straight here for rehearsals” Angel smiled as the bell rang

“Have a good day guys we’ll see you after school” Sugar smiled as the group filed out

“Do you agree with Kurt’s decision to have Dmitri as Edna?” Angel whispered

“Not at all… But if Dmitri’s okay with it who am I to judge?” Sugar shrugged


“Okay class the assignment of the week is in your groups to design four looks for the upcoming school musical” Angel grinned as she stood in front of her fashion and design class “Group one; you’ll be designing for Velma, who wears a lot of skin tight outfits”

“Oh goodie” Valerie sighed dreading squeezing into the design

“Group two; you’re designing for Velma’s daughter, Amber who’s very into swing dresses and such”

“Thank God” Sarah smiled

“And groups three and four; you’ll be designing for Tracy and Edna respectively, so you’ve got a greater challenge due to the fact that both Melissa and Dmitri will have to wear fat suits”

“I’m not looking forward to the sweat” Melissa growled under her breath

“Excuse me Miss Adams” Vanessa’s hand shot up into the air

“Yes Miss Anderson?” Angel smiled

“Dmitri doesn’t actually have to wear a fat suit, he’s already fat and ugly enough to play Edna” Vanessa smirked as most of the class laughed

“That’s enough Miss Anderson” Angel scolded, just as she was going to send her to see Will the bell rang “Alright that’s it for today, class dismissed. Dmitri can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure, I’ll catch up with you guys” Dmitri smiled at his friends

“Are you sure you’re okay with playing Edna?” Angel asked worried

“No I’m not… I’m gonna see how I go at rehearsals this afternoon but if Vanessa continues I’d like to give the role to Talia” Dmitri sighed

“Alright then, I’ll let Mr Crawford-Hummel know” Angel smiled


“And action!” Kurt yelled at Dmitri, Jessica, Valerie, Sarah, Melissa and Libretta as the stood on the stage

“Don't contradict me!” Libretta yelled

“Don't disobey me!” Valerie said sternly

“Don't even think about going to that audition.” Dmitri snarled

“Please!” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah said

“No!” Dmitri, Libretta and Valerie yelled

“Mother!” The three girls cried

“Stop!” Dmitri, Libretta and Valerie said

“Stop telling me what to do” Jessica sang

“Don’t!” The mothers said

“Don't treat me like a child of two” Sarah sang


“I know that you want what's best” Melissa sang


“But mother, please,” Melissa sang

“Give it a rest!” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Stop! Don't! No! Please! Stop! Don't! No! Please!” All six sang “Stop! Don't! No! Please!”

“Mama. I'm a big girl now!” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Once upon a time when I was just a kid.” Melissa sang “You never let me do just what the older kids did. But lose that laundry list of what you won't allow”

“'Cause mama, I’m a big girl now” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

Once upon a time I used to play with toys. But now I’d rather play around with teenage boys” Sarah sang “So, if I get a hickey, please don't have a cow”

“'Cause mama, I’m a big girl now” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Ma, I gotta tell you that without a doubt” Jessica sang “I get my best dancing lessons from you. You're the one who taught me how to "twist and shout". Because you shout non-stop. And you're so twisted too! Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh”

“Once I used to fidget. 'Cause I just sat home” Melissa sang

“But now I’m just like Gidget. And I gotta get to Rome!” Sarah sang

“So say, arrivederci!” Jessica sang

“Toodle-loo!” Melissa sang

“And ciao!” Sarah sang

“'Cause mama, I’m a big girl now” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Stop! Don't! No! Please! Stop! Don't! No! Please!” All six sang “Stop! Don't! No! Please!”

“Mama. I'm a big girl now!” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang “Hey mama. Say mama”

“Once upon a time I was a shy young thing. Could barely walk and talk so much as dance and sing. But let me hit that stage, I wanna take my bow” Melissa sang

“'Cause mama, I’m a big girl now” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh. Once upon a time I used to dress up Ken. But now that I’m a woman, I like bigger men.” Sarah sang “And I don't need a Barbie doll to show me how”

“'Cause mama, I’m a big girl now” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Ma, you always taught me. What was right from wrong.” Jessica sang with Melissa and Sarah “And now I just wanna give it a try. Mama, I’ve been in the nest for far too long. So please give a push and mama watch me fly”

“Watch me fly” Sarah sang

“Hey mama. Say mama” The three sang

“Someday I will meet a man. You won't condemn” Jessica sang

“And we will have some kids. And you can torture them” Sarah sang

“But let me be a star. Before I take that vow” Melissa sang

“'Cause mama, I’m a big girl now” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

 “Oh-Oh-Oh” Jessica sang

“Mama, I’m a big girl now” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Hey-Hey-Hey” Sarah sang

“Mama, I’m a big girl” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang

“Ooh, such a big, big girl!” Sarah sang

“I’m a big girl now” The three sang

“Stop! Don't! No! Please! Stop! Don't! No! Please!” All six sang “Stop! Don't! No! Please!”

“Mama. I'm a big girl now!” Jessica, Melissa and Sarah sang striking the final poses

“Well done ladies and gentleman” Kurt applauded until Dmitri was hit with a tomato

“Take that Dragzilla!” a jock yelled from the back of the auditorium

“Go throw yourself off a bridge” Another one yelled

“Please for the love of Christ just kill yourself” The third one laughed before they ran out, Kurt turned back to see the empty stage and went backstage to find the cast surrounding Dmitri

“It’s unfair we get treated like this” a boy sighed

“You get food thrown at you too Damien?” Dmitri raised an eyebrow

“Yeah, all of us in the drama club do” Damien sighed as Pierre and another boy nodded

“Wait a second, you three are in the drama club and starring in this? Isn’t that kinda high treason?” Riley raised an eyebrow

“Kinda… But we’re here because The Crucible has very few male roles” The other boy said

“Liar you were offered Pitchfork Holding Townsperson Number 12 Conner” Pierre laughed

“Shut up” Conner snarled

“Excuse me” Dmitri sighed as he left for the bathroom, Valerie started after him until a hand touched her shoulder, she turned to see Pierre

“I’ll go…” He sighed

“Okay…” Valerie raised an eyebrow, Pierre walked off and to the bathroom

“What do you want?” Dmitri snarled “Gonna throw something at me too”

“No. I came to apologise… During this whole time I forgot my responsibility as being your brother to support you and love you unconditionally” Pierre sighed “I love you Dmitri, for all that you are, even if that means that you want to be like Timon and dress in drag”

“And do the hula” Both boys said laughing

“I’ve really missed you Pierre” Dmitri said his eyes starting to well up

“Missed me? I’ve always been right by your side” Pierre smiled “Even if you didn’t know it” He pulled Dmitri into a hug

“I love you Pi” Dmitri smiled

“I love you more Mitri” Pierre sighed “Now, are you sure you wanna play Edna?”


“Well, let’s go tell Mr Crawford-Hummel” Pierre smiled as he put his arm around Dmitri’s shoulder

“Can I at least wash this tomato off first” Dmitri laughed

“I don’t know…” Pierre smirked “Red’s so your colour queen!” He said in a stereotyped gay voice

“You know sometimes you REALLY suck” Dmitri laughed “But I still love you”

“Yeah… It’s kinda in the twin contract we’re stuck with each other” Pierre laughed


“Okay guys” Kurt announced standing in front of the cast “Dmitri has decided to step down from the role of Edna and instead it has been given to Talia Creston. Also due to the fact he was a lead cast member, Damien you’re part is just reduced to The Council Member and Dmitri will be taking over as Mr Pinky and Brad.”

“Oh man…” Damien sighed

“Doesn’t matter really bro we’re actors not singers” Conner smiled

“I guess” Damien shrugged

“Okay in saying that we’ll run through Big Blonde and Beautiful” Kurt smiled as Christina, Kendra, Talia, Melissa and Daniel walked onto the stage and the rest of the cast rushed to the wings

“Once upon a time. Girl I was just like you. Never let my extra large. Largesse shine through” Kendra sang as she strutted around the stage “Hair was brown and nappy. Never had no fun. I hid under a bushel. Which is easier said than done!” She continued to wander around looking at Talia “Then one day my grandma. Who was big and stout. She said you gotta love yourself. From inside out. And just as soon as i learned. How to strut my funky stuff. I found out that the world at large. Cant get enough so… Bring on that pecan pie. Pour some sugar on it. Sugar don't be sh-AYYYYYYYEEEEE!” Kendra screamed as she tripped over Christina and was sent tumbling across the stage “YOU CLUMSY BITCH!” Kendra screamed as she rose to her feet

“I’m really sorry Kendra it was an accident” Christina said feebly

““It was an accident”” Kendra mocked Christina “BULL! You walked away from your marker! This isn’t drama class loser you can’t just improv your way around!”

“ENOUGH!” JP shouted rising from his chair “For a week I have sat by and watched you abuse the other cast in this musical all because you’re a lead character well guess what sweet pea, you’re cut. Christina you’ll be taking Kendra’s place”

“But who’ll play Little Inez?” Christina asked weakly

“There’s a girl called Delia I could ask unless you would like to get your attitude sorted Miss Suazo”

“Shove it up your backside!” Kendra yelled “I don’t care” She pushed past JP before storming out of the auditorium

“Oh how this musical is a joy” Angel sighed from the wings

“Do you wanna talk to her or should I?” Sugar sighed in response

“I will. But I’ll give her time to cool off” Angel smiled reassuringly

“Okay Conner would you be so kind as to call your girlfriend?” JP smiled

“It’s time you had the talk” Valerie sang under her breath sparking giggles from Dmitri, Sarah and Jasmine

“Hey babe… Yes I am at rehearsals… Nooo… No I’m not cheating on you, do you think I would be THAT dumb and call you if I was?” Conner sighed his voice echoing around the auditorium “Yes! Come to the auditorium! You’ll see me on the stage. Okay, I love you.” He smiled dopily as he hung up “She’ll be here soon”

“Part of me wants to make out with him just to cause drama” Riley whispered to Valerie and Dmitri

“DO IT!” The pair laughed

“What’s so funny you two?” Kurt asked the whole cast turned to look at the pair

“We-” Valerie started before she was cut off by the auditorium doors bursting open

“CONNER!” a petite girl with long brown wavy hair, ivory skin and a Hispanic accent yelled

“I’m right here” Conner sighed from the stage

“Good” The girl smiled as she walked up and placed a kiss on his cheek

“Everyone this is Delia Vasquez and she’ll be taking over the role of Little Inez” JP smiled

“Hold on!” Vanessa yelled as she walked up to Delia “How come she gets it instantly? I mean we don’t even know if she can sing”

“Oh I can sing chica, trust me” Delia scoffed

“Well I’d love to hear your voice” Vanessa snarled

“Heeerrreeee we go…” Drew rolled his eyes as the cast all filed out of the wings at sat in the auditorium

“Just to be fair I think we should sing a non Inez song” Vanessa said

“Fine by me” Delia smirked as she handed Conner her bag and turned to face the audience “Oh, oh, oh woke up today feeling. The way I always do. Oh, oh, oh hungry for something that I can't eat. Then I hear that beat” She sang as she pranced the stage innocently “The rhythm of town starts calling me down. It's like a message from high above. Oh, oh, oh pulling me out to the smiles and the. Streets that I love”

“Good morning Baltimore.” Both girls sang “Every day's like an open door. Every night is a fantasy. Every sound's like a symphony. Good morning Baltimore. And some day when I take to the floor. The world's gonna wake up and see. Baltimore and me”

“Oh, oh, oh look at my hair. What do can compare with mine today?” Vanessa sang as she pushed Delia off the stage, who quickly recovered and danced around the front “Oh, oh, oh I've got my hairspray and radio. I'm ready to go. The rats on the street all dance round my feet. They seem to say, "Tracy, it's up to you. So, oh, oh don't hold me back. 'Cause today all my dreams will come true”

“Good morning Baltimore. There's the flasher who lives next door” Delia sang as she covered her eyes as she walked past Kurt “There's the bum on his bar room stool” She sang waving at JP who laughed “They wish me luck on my way to school”

“Good morning Baltimore” Delia and Vanessa sang as Delia walked back onto the stage

“And some day when I take to the floor. The world's gonna wake up and see” Vanessa sang

“Baltimore and me” The pair belted

“I know every step, I know every song. I know there's a place where I belong” Delia sang looking up towards the ceiling

“I see all those party lights shining ahead. So someone invite me before I drop dead” Vanessa sang clutching her chest

“So, oh, oh give me a chance. 'Cause when I start to dance I'm a movie star” Vanessa and Delia sang as they swung around holding each other’s hands

“Oh, oh, oh something inside of me makes me move” Delia sang

“When I hear the groove” Vanessa belted

“My mom tells me no but my feet tell me go. It's like a drummer inside my heart” Delia sang as she danced a quick tap style dance

“So, oh, oh don't make me wait. One more moment for my life to start” Vanessa sang as she did the same

“I love you Baltimore. Every day's like an open door” Delia and Vanessa sang as they stood in their spotlights “Every night is a fantasy. Every sound's like a symphony. And I promise Baltimore. That some day when I take to the floor. The world's gonna wake up and see. Gonna wake up and see Baltimore and me”

“Yes, more or less we all agree” The cast sang

“Baltimore and me!” Vanessa belted

“Someday the world is gonna see” The cast sang

“Baltimore and me!” Delia belted holding the note exquisitely 

“Well that was fun” Kurt smiled

“I thought it was” Delia smiled at Vanessa “You were good”

“You were better” Vanessa smiled, the whole auditorium gasped in shock

“MY GOD!” Liz exclaimed “Did Vanessa just compliment someone that isn’t herself or Valerie?”

“Yep… This is most probably the first sign of the apocalypse” Jason said wide eyed

“Look. Okay I get it I’m a bit of a bitch” Vanessa shrugged

“A bit?” Sarah scoffed

“Don’t forget you’re a bigot sweet pea” Catalina smiled, Jess nodding at the comment

“OKAY I get it I’ve been a horrible person to all of you… But even though I’ve got only one solo line… I’d rather have that than be like Kendra and be cut…” Vanessa looked down “So for the remainder of Hairspray I’m gonna be… Nice” She shuddered

“What’s in it for you?” Valerie raised an eyebrow

“Being in a supporting cast member in a musical in high school looks better on my NYADA application than NO musical at all” Vanessa shrugged

“I trust her” a voice said

“You do?” Riley said in shock

“Yeah you trust her after all she put you through?” Derek said

“Yes.” Dmitri smiled walking towards the stage “We all know the biggest bitches in this room are myself, Valerie and Vanessa and when a bi-” He was interrupted by Delia clearing her throat “Can I help you?” Dmitri raised an eyebrow

“You forgot a bitch. Me.” Delia said her stone cold glare cutting through Dmitri

“Oh really and what’s one of the bitchiest things you’ve done?” Dmitri smirked

“I warned a guy I was dating that I’d go Lorena Bobbitt on him if he cheated… And I did this by singing a song called Lorena Bobbitt as my audition song for his glee club”

“Ooh… That’s pretty bitchy” Vanessa said to Dmitri

“Mm… Yes… Well fine myself, Vanessa, Valerie AND Delia… Happy?” Dmitri snarled

“Ecstatic” Delia snarled back

“Wonderful… ANYWAY what I was saying was a bitch knows when another bitch is lying and dis bitch… ain’t lyin’” Dmitri popped his cheeks

“Well thank you Friedchikenita” Vanessa smiled

“So… I’m Little Inez right?” Delia asked

“Yes” Vanessa laughed as she hugged Delia “You are so gonna crash and burn sweet pea” She whispered

“If I go down I’ll make you fall farther” Delia snarled


“Well, that was intense” Aspen said as her group left rehearsals

“I know, that Delia chick is psychotic” Jasmine said

“Psychotic but talented” Alyssa quipped

“Maybe we should get her to join New Directions?” Angie suggested

“That’s a good plan” Aspen smirked until she saw Delia and Vanessa walking with The Femmes

“Well meetings are after school in the gym” Vanessa grinned

“And we could definitely use someone of your talent” Catalina smiled

“Well ladies just call me the Latin Femme” Delia smirked

“YAY!” Rachel shouted as she hugged Delia

“And this is why we should never get our hopes up” Jess sighed as she caught Catalina’s eye “I just have to go to the bathroom I’ll catch up”

“Okay then” Jasmine smiled as the group walked away “So, Aspen like I was saying before you should definitely become the female captain of New Directions

“I’m just gonna pee then I’ll be at practice” Catalina smiled at Vanessa

“Okay then Vag Hag” Vanessa shrugged as Catalina walked off, she entered the bathroom to see Jessica waiting

“How do you keep convincing me to do this?” She smirked

“Lesbihonest, it’s these puppies” Jess smiled as she pointed to her chest

“Well, they definitely help” Catalina smiled as she pulled Jess in and kissed her, Jess pulled away faster than usual “What’s wrong?”

“Cat, I need to tell you something. I may be leaving for LA” Jess said shame faced

“What, why?”  Catalina almost whimpered

“Well, you know how I want to be a dancer, I’ve applied to go to a high school specialising in the arts, I’ll know by the end of the week after the scout comes to see Hairspray” Jessica smiled weakly

“You’re kidding!” Catalina grinned “That’s amazing honey” She hugged Jessica

“But I don’t think we should continue doing this…”

“Why? Why waste the fleeting time we have left?” Catalina smiled brushing a lock of Jessica’s hair behind her ear and kissing her gently


“Hey Trace, my moms pitching a platter party at our record shop up off North Avenue, wanna come check it out?” Daniel said in a fake Latino accent

“May I also come check it out?” Jessica asked Daniel

“Oh, you surely may” Daniel smiled at Jessica

“I've never been to North Avenue!” Melissa grinned

“Would it be safe up there for, you know us?” Jason grimaced

“Yeah, don't worry cracker boy, it's cool” Daniel laughed

“Imagine, being invited places by coloured people!” Jessica squealed as she hugged Melissa

“It feels so hip!” Melissa grinned

“I'm glad you feel that way, friends, 'cause not many people do” Daniel sighed “Y’all know what I’m sayin’?” 

“Yeah that’s right!” A dance team girl yelled out

“Hey! I can't see. Why people look at me. And only see the colour of my face. Oh yeah” Daniel sang as he and The Detention Kids danced around the set “And then there's those. That try to help, God knows. But have to always put me in my place. Now I won't ask you to be colour blind. 'Cause if you pick the fruit. Then girl, you're sure to find. The blacker the berry. The sweeter the juice. I could say it ain't so. But darlin', what's the use? The darker the chocolate. The richer the taste. And that's where it's at. Now run and tell that”

“Run and tell that” The Detention Kids sang

“Run and tell that” Daniel sang

“Run and tell that”

“I can't see. Why people disagree. Each time I tell them what I know is true” Daniel sang as the group danced through the hallway set “And if you come. And see the world I'm from. I bet your heart is gonna feel it too. Yeah, I could lie. But baby, let's be bold. Vanilla be nice. But if the truth be told. The blacker the berry. The sweeter the juice. I could say it ain't so. But darlin', what's the use. The darker the chocolate. The richer the taste. And that's where it's at. Now run and tell that”

“Run and tell that” The Detention Kids sang as Delia walked to the front of the group as the set changed to Motormouth’s record store.

“Hey, you're Tracy Turnblad! You're my favourite dancer on the Corny Collins Show!” Delia squealed

“This is my sister, Li'l Inez” Daniel smiled

“Yeah, I saw you at the auditions” Melissa grinned

“Well, you're the only one who did, 'cause they kicked me out on my young, gifted and latin behind” Delia sighed

“Tell 'em about it” Daniel smiled at Delia

“I'm tired of coverin' up all my pride.” Delia sang

“So give me five on the dark-hand side” Daniel sang with The Detention Kids

“I've got a new way of movin'. And I got my own voice” Delia sang

“So how can I help, but to shout and rejoice?” Daniel sang with The Detention Kids

“The people 'round here. Can barely pay their rent” Delia sang as she danced in front of the group “They're tryin' to make dollar out 'a fifteen cent. But we got a spirit money just can't buy”

“It's deep as a river. It soars to the sky” Delia sang with The Detention Kids

“I can't see. The reason it can't be. The kinda world where we all get our chance. The time is now. And we can show them how. To turn the music up and let's all dance” Daniel sang with Delia and The Detention Kids as they all danced around the record store set “'Cause all things are equal. When it comes to love. Well, that ain't quite true. 'Cause when a push comes to shove. The blacker the berry. The sweeter the juice. I could say it ain't so. But darlin', what's the use. The darker the chocolate. The richer the taste. That's where it's at.”

“Now baby, baby run and tell that” Daniel sang

“Run and tell that” Delia and The Detention Kids sang

“Run and tell that” Daniel sang finishing the song

“Well done guys that was brilliant!” Kurt smiled as he and JP applauded “But Delia you need to work on the innocence, Daniel the dancing is still choppy and finally Lucinda your voice NEEDS to be stronger but other that it was brilliant!” 


“You know you really shouldn’t be here” A voice came from behind Kendra as she watched the show, she jumped out of the seat frightened by the sudden voice, she turned to find two people she didn’t like whatsoever

“Ugh. I should’ve known it would be the creepy senior and the snake in the grass” She snarled

“Now, now is that anyway to treat your team mate?” Jake smirked

“You’re not really much of a mate with how you’ve treated Libretta” Kendra glared

“Ladies, enough” Vanessa snarled “I care not for your petty Directions crap right now”

“Why are you here anyway Vanessa?” Kendra snarled

“I’m rehearsing, the better question here is why are YOU here Kendra?” She smirked

“What do you want?” Kendra sighed

“I want you to help us sabotage the musical” Vanessa smirked

“Us?” Kendra raised an eyebrow

“I have dirt on him so he’s here via blackmail, but you I could use due to your hurt over Mr Ryan kicking you out of the musical because you had a wee bit of a diva session” Vanessa put her hand on Kendra’s shoulder

“I’m in” Kendra grinned maliciously

“I knew you’d join us honey, welcome to the club” Vanessa smiled hugging Kendra her smile quickly fading as she saw Valerie on the stage taking The Council Members through the dance moves “My God… The Legend” She snarled

“Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and turn.” Valerie said as she demonstrated the moves

“Oh my God, Penny, there's Link, Link! I can't believe I’m really here auditioning!” Melissa giggled as she, Jessica and three Cheerios walked onto the stage

“I can't believe I’m really here watching you audition!” Jessica said just as excited

“Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and, oh, Amber, look at this motley crew! Oh. This town has sure gone downhill since I was crowned Miss…” Valerie said

“Oh, mother not more ancient history!” Sarah sighed rolling her eyes

“Oh, my god how times have changed, these girls must be blind, or completely deranged! But, time seem to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabs.” Valerie sang “Amber, that move is far too dirty!” She exclaimed

“Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930!” Sarah laughed

“You can laugh, but life's a test! Don't do this, don't do that! Remember, mother knows best!” Valerie sang “And the crowns in the vault from. When I won Miss Baltimore Crabs”

“These steps are perfect ammunition.” Sarah said

“Let me show you how you mommy dear. Took out the competition. Girls, go get them, boys lets rumba! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Those poor runner ups. Might still hold some grudges” Valerie sang as the boys danced with her and eventually lifted her up “They padded their cups. But I screwed the judges! Those broads thought they'd win if a plate they would spin in their dance… hahaha… not a chance!” Valerie pretended to just notice the girls “Boys, put me down!” she laughed “Oh, good morning ladies, lets see what you got!”

“Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mambo!” The Coucil Members sang as the danced

“Ready, begin. On my show you'll never find a thrusting hip or bump and grind!” Valerie sang

“What’s that, a dance for flees and tics?” Sarah laughed

“Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks! Oh I hit the stage. Batons ablaze. While belting Aida. And preparing soufflés! But that triple somersault. Is how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs!” Valerie sang “Proceed.” She shrugged

“Are you scared we're on live?” Jasmine sneered at Melissa

“No, I’m sure I can cope.” Melissa grinned

“Well, this show isn't broadcast in” Sarah started

“Cinema scope!” The Council Girls laughed

“I never drink one chocolate malt. No desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs!” Valerie sang

“This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes!” Sarah laughed at one of the Cheerios

“Ha kid, she'll never get a date, till daddy buys her a new nose! I would say, oy gevalt! If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs” Valerie laughed

“Do you dance like you dress?” Sarah laughed

“Amber, there's no need to be cruel” Jason sighed

“Would you swim in an integrated pool?” Valerie smirked causing gasps from all The Council Members

“I sure would! I'm all for integration! It's the new frontier!” Melissa grinned

“Not in Baltimore, it isn't! And may I be frank?” Valerie smirked again “First impressions can be tough. And when I saw you I knew it. If your size weren't enough. Your last answer just blew it! And so my dear. So short and stout. You'll never be in.”

“So were kicking you out!” She and The Council Members sang

“With your form and your fate. Oh, it isn't your fault!” 

“It's hard to get rid of "Miss Baltimore...” Valerie and The Council Members sang

“Crabs” Valerie belted “Ugh you may go” She snarled at the group

“Umm… Thank you?” Melissa sighed

“I think they secretly liked you!” Jessica smiled as she was pushed out of the way of Delia running in

“Hello Ma'am, may I please audition?” Delia asked hopefully

“No, but you can bow and exalt! 'Cause I was "Miss Baltimore…” Valerie sang

“…Crabs! Crabs, Crabs!!!” Valerie sang with The Council Members

“Enjoy your spotlight whilst you can Val” Vanessa snarled


“Alright ladies and gentlemen welcome to opening night” Kurt smiled as the group gathered backstage “I am immensely proud of all of you now let’s get out there and show them what McKinley High is best at doing!” He smiled before going out to the very front of the stage “Ladies and gentlemen welcome to William McKinley High School’s 2019 musical, Hairspray” He smiled as the crowd clapped and the curtains parted

“You ready to destroy this musical sweetie?” Vanessa grinned as she held Jake’s hand

“Stop trying to be nice, we both know that you’re not gonna speak to me after this” Jake snarled

“You never know honey” Vanessa grinned

“Come on were nearly on” Jake smirked referring to the plan, he let go of Vanessa’s plan and snuck into the male’s dressing room where he found Brock’s costume still was hanging up “It’s like God wants this to happen” Jake grinned to himself as he started to unpick the seams around the pant’s crotch and back area, luckily just as he finished Brock burst in

“Jake! Thank God!” He exclaimed

“Jesus dude you’re late” Jake said acting concerned

“I know, just help me with my costume will ya?” Brock snapped as he took off his shirt

“Umm.. Sure” Jake said biting his lip, Brock could feel Jake’s eyes running down his chest towards his six-pack but he really didn’t care to be honest he was flattered, he smirked to himself as he dropped his pants

“Could you hurry up dude, we’re on soon” Brock said snapping Jake out of his haze

“Um yeah sorry” Jake smiled as he threw the pants at Brock, as Brock stood with his costume pants around his thighs Jake quickly shoved the shirt over his head. The pair stopped and looked each other in the eyes, inches away from Brock’s lips Jake just couldn’t resist, as he felt his lips touch Brock’s a wave of pure euphoria came over both of them, but Brock quickly pushed Jake off

“DUDE! I’ve got like 10 seconds till I need to be onstage and you think kissing me is a good idea!” Brock snarled as he fixed his costume, he pulled on his blazer and left the room

“Smooth move Jake” Jake grumbled, Brock ran onto the TV station set and began his song as Melissa and Jessica watched through the “TV” in the Turnblad set

“Hey there, Teenage Baltimore! Don't change that channel! 'Cause it's time for the Corny Collins Show! Brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray!” Brock smiled as The Council Members walked onto the stage “Ev'ry afternoon. When the clock strikes four”

“Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba” The Council Members sang

“A crazy bunch of kids. Crash through that door yeah” Brock sang

“Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba” The Council Members sang

“Well they throw off their coats. And leave the squares behind. And then they shake it, shake it, shake it. Like they're losing their mind. You'll never see them frown. 'Cause they're…” Brock sang

“The nicest kids in town” Brock and The Council Members sang

“So every afternoon. You turn your T.V. on.” Brock sang

“Na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na” The Council Members sang

“And we know you turn the sound up. When your parents are gone, yeah”

“Na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na”

“And then you twist and shout. For your favourite star. And when you've practiced every step. That's in your repertoire. You better come on down”

“And meet the nicest kids in town” Brock and The Council Members sang

“Nice white kids. Who like to lead the way. And once a month. We have our” Brock sang

“Negro day!” Brock and The Council Members sang

“And I’m the man who keeps it spinnin' round. Mr. Corny Collins. With the latest, greatest Baltimore sound!! So every afternoon. Drop everything woo!”

“Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba” The Council Members sang

“Who needs to read and write. When you can dance and sing?”

“Bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba” The Council Members sang

“Forget about your algebra. And calculus. You can always do your homework. On the morning bus. Can't tell a verb from a noun. They're the…

“Nicest kids in town” Brock and The Council Members sang

“Roll Call!!” Brock yelled

“I'm Amber!” Sarah sang

“Brad!” Dmitri smirked

“Tammy!” Jasmine grinned

“Fender!” Derek smiled

“Brenda!” Liz sang

“Sketch!” Conner winked

“Shelley!” Catalina rolled her eyes

“I.Q!” Rohan smiled

“Lou Ann!” Riley smiled brightly

“Joey!” Pierre smirked

“Mikey” Drew shrugged

“Vicki” Vanessa smiled

“Becky” Kristina shimmied

“Bix” Alex grinned

“Jesse” Caleb smiled

“Darla” Louise smiled

“Paulie!” Damien yelled

“Noreen!” Alyssa smiled

“Doreen!” Angie smiled as she stood next to Angie

“And I'm… Link!” Jason licked his lip and winked

“So, if every night you're shaking. As you lie in bed.” Brock sang

“Pony-pony, ooh, pony-pony” The Council Members sang

“Shake it baby!” Brock smirked “And the bass and drums. Are pounding in your head.”

“Mony-mony, ooh, mony-mony” The Council Members sang

“Who cares about sleep? When you can snooze in. School?” Brock sang “They'll never get to college. But they sure look cool. Don't need a cap and a gown. When you’re the…”

“Nicest kids in town” Brock and The Council Members sang “Nicest kids in… Kids in town! Woo!” The music stopped and an extremely loud rip sounded around the auditorium, and the panel of fabric in the crotch of Brock’s pants fell to the ground

“Now for the first dance please welcome Amber and Link!” He announced before rushing off the stage.

“What the hell is going on?” Kurt snarled

“My pants are destroyed!” Brock moaned

“Oh God quick give them here!” Angel sighed

“In front of everyone?” Brock asked worriedly

“Just do it!” Kurt whispered harshly, Brock did as he was told while Sarah and Jason continued to dance an impromptu dance, Angel snatched the pants off him while Sugar rushed out of the costume room

“Here” She said shoving pants towards Brock

“How could that have happen Miss Fashionista?” Kurt snapped

“Two things. Firstly, calm your chest Hummel” Sugar snarled “Secondly a lot of the costumes are from the Goodwill a lot of them may fall apart that’s why we have extra costumes out here”

“Thank you Miss Motta” Brock sighed as he walked back onto the stage

“Someone’s out to destroy this musical,” Angel sighed

“Yes and if we don’t find out who we’re screwed” Kurt sighed


“Hey! Look out for that moving van,” Sarah, Liz and Jasmine all sang as they stood in formation “Driving down our streets, you better lock up your man, before he meets: The new girl in town!”

“Who just came on the scene,” Sarah sang

“The new girl in town!”

“Can't be more than sixteen,”

“And she's got a way of making a boy act like a clown! Ooooooh! We don't know what to do,' bout the new girl in town.” The three sang “The new girl in town”

“Seems to dance on air,” Liz sang

“The new girl in town”

“She's got the coolest hair!” Jasmine exclaimed

“You better tell the homecoming queen to hold on to her crown,” The three sang “Oh oh oh, or she's gonna lose it to the new girl in town.”

“She's hip.” Liz sang

“So cool.” Jasmine sang

“I'm gonna get her after school.” Sarah smirked

“And yet we'd like to be like her, cause she's the kitten that the cats prefer.” The three sang as they walked off stage

“Ladies step aside!” Clementine smirked

“The new girl in town” The Dynamites sang

“Has my guy on a string.” Clementine sang

“The new girl in town,”

“Hey look, she's wearing his ring!” Rachel exclaimed

“I can't stop crying and so in my own tears I'm gonna drown ow-ow-ow” The Dynamites

“Cause he wants to rendez-vous” McKenzie sang

“With the new girl.”

“We kind of sad and blue” Rachel sang

“Yes it's true girl. We'd like to say… to the new girl in town. The new girl in town. Wo-oo, wo-oo, wo-oo, wo-oo. From out of the blue girl. This town's in a stew girl. What a hullabaloo girl. She ain't just passing through girl. She's sticking like glue girl. To the man I thought I knew girl. Wo-oo, wo-oo, wo-oo, wo-oo. Hey look out for that moving van Look out, Look out, Look out, Look out! She was the new girl in… town.”


“I’ll do it after my next diet” Talia said as she avoided Melissa’s pestering “That’s when I’ll do it, you see the neighbours haven’t seen me since I was a size 10… Don’t make me do it Tracy”

“Ma! It’s changing out there. You’ll like it! People who are different their time is coming!” Melissa smiled as the music started to pick up “Hey mama hey mama. Look around. Everybody's groovin' to a brand new sound. Hey mama hey mama. Follow me. I know something's in you. That you wanna set free. So let so, go, go of the past now. Say hello to the love in your heart.” Melissa sang as she pointed to the “TV” where The Dynamites were “Yes, I know that the world's spinning fast now. You gotta get yourself a brand new start”

“Hey mama, welcome to the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.” Melissa, Clementine, Rachel and McKenzie sang “Oh mama, welcome to the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Go mama, go, go, go!

“Welcome to the 60's” Clementine, McKenzie and Rachel sang “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Hey mama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah”

“Hey mama, hey mama. Have some fun” Melissa sang

“I haven't left this house since 1951” Talia retorted

“Hey mama, hey mama. Take a chance!”

“Oh Tracy, it's been years. Since someone asked me to dance”

“So let go, so, go of the past now. Say hello to the light in your eyes” Melissa sang with The Dynamites “Yes, I know that the world's. Spinning fast now. But you gotta run the race. To win the prize.” Melissa smiled as she dragged Talia onto the street set

Hey mama, welcome to the 60's!” Melissa and The Dynamites sang “Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh mama, welcome to the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Go mama, go, go, go!”

“Welcome to the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,” The Dynamites sang while Talia and Melissa started their dialogue “Hey mama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah”

“Ma you did it!” Melissa skipped

“Oh Tracy I’m getting light-headed. There’s so much air out here! Can’t we go someplace that’s stuffy?” Talia asked worried

“No Ma! You’re on your way!” Melissa smiled

“Hey mama, welcome to the 60's.” The Dynamites sang “Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh mama, welcome to the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Go mama, go, go, go!”

“It’s so glamorous!” Talia admired as she and Melissa walked past different scenes on the “street”

“Welcome to the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Hey mama, Hey mama. Yeah, yeah, yeah” The Dynamites sang “Welcome to the rhythm of a brand new day”

“Take your old-fashioned fears.” Tracy sang

“And just throw them away” The Dynamites sang “You should add some colour and a fresh new "do" 'Cause it's time for a star. Who looks just like you!” Talia and Melissa arrived finally at Mr Pinky’s screaming with excitement before running in, The Dynamites ran off stage to get changed

“Enjoy your new outfits ladies” Vanessa smirked as they changed into ill-fitting different coloured outfits 

“These aren’t right” Rachel said tugging at the hemline of her green dress which was only inches away from become a case of indecent exposure

“Least your dress isn’t a gown!” Clementine snapped as she walked out in a blue gown

“I have pants it could be worse” McKenzie snarled as she walked out in a bright yellow jumpsuit

“Oh let’s just go with it. No offense Kenzie, but your dad’s kinda eccentric” Clementine shrugged

“No arguments here” McKenzie sighed

“There's my shining star!” Dmitri smiled as he walked over to Talia and Melissa “Fantastic to meet you. I'm Mr. Pinky”

“It's so nice to meet you” Melissa smiled

“Tracy, is this your older sister?” Dmitri smirked

“Oh my” Talia blushed

“Perhaps she’d like some complimentary couture?” Dmitri smiled

“Couture?” Talia repeated

“Now if you’ll just sign here” Dmitri smiled

“Flattery will not distract Ms. Turnblad's agent from reading the fine print” Talia snarled

“Her agent?” Dmitri repeated confused

“Tracy eat your doughnuts” Talia said sending Melissa away “Let’s talk” She said as she leaded Dmitri through the “store” “Alright let’s see here… Now… Mm mm. Uh uh, uh uh” She shook her head “No! I want a non-exclusive contract. Extensions by mutual option and I want you to absorb a 15% commission”

“NOT A DIME OVER TEN!” Dmitri yelled

“Throw in a bustier?” Talia raised an eyebrow

“54 DD?” Dmitri raised one too

“Triple E!” Talia said excitedly

“I hit the motherload” Dmitri yelled

“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Welcome to the 60's” The Dynamites sang as they walked onto the stage “Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh mama, welcome to the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Go mama, go, go, go!” As Talia ran into a “dressing room” to change

“Dontcha let nobody.” McKenzie sang in a fake Latin accent “Try to steal your fun. 'Cause a little touch of lipstick. Never hurt no one”

“The future's got a million roads.” Rachel sang “For you to choose. But you'll walk a little taller. In some high-heeled shoes”

“And once you find the style. That makes you feel like you” Clementine sang “Something fresh. Something new”

“Step on out. Hear us shout” The three sang

“Mama, that's your cue!!!” Melissa and The Dynamites sang

“Hey Tracy, hey baby. Look at me! I'm the cutest chickie. That ya ever did see” Talia sang as she walked onto the stage again “Hey Tracy, hey baby, Look at us. Where is there a team, that's half as fabulous?!”

“I let go, go. Go of the past now” Talia and The Dynamites sang “Said hello to this red carpet ride. Yes I know that the world's spinning fast now. Tell Lollobrigida to step aside! Your mama's welcome in the 60's” They continued as Melissa went into the dressing room “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, Oh your mama's welcome in the 60's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Go, mama, go, go, go!”

“Welcome to the 60's. Open the door” The Cheerios playing customers sang “For the girl who has more, She's a star… Tracy, go, go, go!”

“Hey mama, welcome to the 60's” The ensemble sang

“Your mama's hip, hip” Talia sang

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh”

“Your mama's in, mama”

“Oh mama, welcome to the 60's”

“Your mama's lookin at herself and wonderin, where you been?”

“Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh”

“Your mama's late, late. She's all a glow!”

“Go mama. Go, go, go!”

“Now once you hold me back, your mama's gotta let go, go, go!”

“Hey mama welcome to the 60's”

“Welcome to the "6", to the "0". To the apostrophe "s"!” Rachel sang

“Hey mama welcome to the 60's” The ensemble sang while McKenzie did vocal runs “Hey mama welcome to the 60's” They sang again while Clementine did the vocal runs “Welcome to the 60's. Go mama go, go, go!”

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Go mama, go, go, go!!” The Dynamites finished the song to roaring applause

“This, this is what I live for” Melissa grinned to herself


“Once upon a time. Girl I was just like you. Never let my extra-large. Largesse shine through. Hair was brown and nappy. Never had no fun. I hid under a bushel. Which is easier said than done!” Christina sang as she strutted around the stage “Then one day my grandma. Who was big and stout. She said you gotta love yourself. From inside out. And just as soon as I learned. How to strut my funky stuff. I found out that the world at large. Can't get enough so... Bring on that pecan pie. Pour some sugar on it. Sugar don't be shy. Scoop me up a mess. Of that chocolate swirl. Don't be stingy. I'm a growing girl”

“I’ll teach that little bitch” Kendra snarled as she walked up to the lighting booth “Hey Kyler” She smirked at the brunette freshman sitting in the booth

“Oh hi… You” The boy shrugged as he turned back to his lighting board

“Look sweetie, I have a proposition for you if you let me play with the board I’ll let you play with my cute sweater puppies” Kendra winked

“Not interested” Kyler said quickly

“Come on cutie” Kendra smiled pushing her body nearer to his

“Look tramp, I’m not interested!” He snarled

“Tramp?” She yelled furiously, Kendra swung her handbag smacking Kyler over the head and face first into the lighting board knocking him out. “I’m no tramp” She smirked pushing him out of her way “Now to watch the fireworks” she grinned as she started to rip the cables out of the lighting board causing the lights to go haywire

“I offer big love. With no apology. How can I deny the world, the most of me?” Christina sang as the lights started to flash on and off “I am not afraid. To throw my weight around. Pound by pound by pound. Because I'm. Big, blonde and beautiful. There is nothin' 'bout me. That's unsuitable. No one wants a meal. That only offers the least. When girl we're servin' up. The whole damn feast.” She smiled trying to distract from the flickering lights

“KENDRA!” Angel yelled when she got into the booth “How could you?”

“Miss Adams… I… I…” Kendra stuttered as the guilt smacked her hard “Vanessa used my emotions against me” She said more to herself than anyone

“Well nevermind her, we’ll get her later” Angel smiled “But for now we need to fix these lights” She smiled reassuringly as she placed a hand on Kendra’s shoulder

“Slice off a piece. Of that hog head cheese. Then take a look inside. My book of recipes. Now, don't you sniff around. For something fluffy and light. I need a man who brings. A man-size... Appetite” Christina belted “I'll use a pinch of sugar. And a dash of spice. I'll let ya lick the spoon. Because it tastes so nice. I'll keep it in my oven. 'Til it's good and hot. Keep on stirring til it hits the spot. Because I'm... Big, blonde and beautiful. And Edna girl, you're lookin' so, Recruitable. Why sit in the bleachers. Timid and afraid. When Edna, You can be your own parade!”

“So? How ‘bout it, Mama?” Melissa asked as the lights started to return to a normal shine

“Well, I am big, I am blonde... ish, and if you say” Talia said “I'm beautiful, I guess I'm beautiful. OK, I'll do it!”

“Yeaaa! Look out old Baltimore. We're marching in” Melissa, Talia and Christina sang with The Detention Kids “And we ain't shufflin'. Through that old back door”

“And Tracy, I will join the fight. If I can keep up this pace” Talia sang

“And girls, I'll be right at your side. If I can find some space” Drew sang

“So you can. Hold your head up. Just as big as ya please” Christina sang “You know they'll hear me knockin'. With the two of these!” She smirked as she threw her hands high

“Tomorrow, side by side. We'll show the world what's right” Christina sang with the group

“Looks like I'm touchin' up my roots tonight!” Talia sang

“Touch ‘em girl!” Lucinda yelled

“Then we'll be. Big, blonde and beautiful. It's time to face the fact. It's irrefutable” Christina sang “Can't ya hear that rumbling? That's our hunger to be free. It's time to fin'ly taste. Equality”

“On mother/daughter day. Where thin is in, we’re white as wool” The Council Girls sang with the mothers

“Well ladies, big is back! And as for black, it's…” Christina sang

“…Beautiful!” The whole group of protesters sang

“All shapes and sizes, follow me” Christina sang

“Let's bust their chops!” Talia yelled

“Quick, call the cops!” Valerie shouted

“We're gonna dance our way to victory! And get us on TV!” Christina sang

“2... 4... 6... 8... TV'S got to integrate!” The protesters yelled

“Stay away! This isn't Negro Day!” The Council Members sang

“You bet I'm big!” Christina belted

“This blond is grey!” Talia smirked pulling on Valerie’s wig

“Tracy, this was beautiful!” Jason smiled

“Big, blonde, and beautiful leads the way!” Christina belted

“No one's getting on TV today!” The ensemble sang


“Hey baby” Lucas smiled as he hugged Dmitri “You were great!”

“Don’t lie” Dmitri said smiling “I was awful”

“That’s the kinda attitude that’s gonna stop you from getting into NYADA” Lucas grinned

“Hey Lucas” Valerie smiled as she and Jason joined the pair

“OMIGOSH! Val you were amazing!” Lucas smiled hugging her “I am in love with your voice! If you ever go to NYADA list one of your favoured roles as Velma cause you completely slayed Velma’s Revenge and Jason you should look at applying too It Takes Two was amazing”

“Hey guys” Riley smiled as she walked over “Oh hello… Warbler?” She raised an eyebrow

“Riley this is my sorta boyfriend. Lucas Jefferies” Dmitri smiled

“Sorta?” Riley and Lucas repeated

“Well I don’t want anything to be official until I know how the group stands with Warblers”

“Well I don’t think he’s a spy but some people will” Riley sighed

“Anyway we were talking about NYADA” Valerie smiled

“OH. MY. GOSH! I am so applying to go there when I finish here it’s like the school of my dreams!” Riley squealed

“Lucas? Lucas?” A voice came from behind the group

“Over here” Lucas shouted and from the crowd popped Nigel

“What’s he doing here?” Dmitri snarled

“I’ve changed since your Invitationals…” Nigel sighed “I was a horrid bitch but Lucas has helped me change”

“I’m not buying it” Dmitri said quickly

“Yeah I thought I smelt horse crap too” Riley shrugged

“Look we better go the second act is about to start” Nigel smiled grabbing Lucas’ arm and dragging him away

“Looks like you have competition” Riley smirked

“Shut it Lou Ann” Dmitri raised an eyebrow


“I gotta get out. I gotta get out. I gotta get out” The female cast chanted from behind prison bars “How'd I get in this slammer? This cooler! This big dollhouse!”

“Alright, ladies, welcome to the "Big Dollhouse!"” Aspen said as she walked across the stage “For those of you new to the Baltimore Women's House of Detention, think of me as a mother… one who eats her young!”

“Locked up with all these. Lowlife women” Valerie sang

“And horizontal stripes. Ain't exactly slimmin'” Talia sighed

“Is there anybody here, who can dry clean my blouse?” Sarah moaned

“It's the maid's day off” Aspen smirked

“In the big dollhouse” The girls sang

“Lady Justice. Where have you gone?” Delia cried

“Ooh, Wilbur, check. I think I left the iron on!” Talia exclaimed

“Did you see Corny laughing? I could murder that louse!” Valerie snarled

“Honey, that'll getcha life” Aspen quipped

“In the big dollhouse” They all sang “Big house!”

“Locked up here in the pen” Valerie grumbled

“Big house!”

“No phone!” Sarah sighed

“No food!” Talia grizzled

“No men!” Christina exclaimed

“I need a conjugal visit. From my loving spouse!” Talia sang

“Honey, just drop the soap” Aspen smirked

“In The Big Dollhouse” The girls all sang

“Yoo hoo! My stomach's a little sour, I haven't had food, in over an hour” Talia sang to Aspen

“You just had a pizza, six burgers, a mouse!” Aspen sang

“There's no food left. In the big dollhouse” The girls all sang

“Hey, matron. I have got to complain!” Valerie said

“Hey mami, don't I know you, from 1st and main?” Lucinda asked as she played a hooker

“Eek, call my attorneys! Lipchitz and Strauss! I gotta get sprung, from the big dollhouse!” Valerie sang

“Big house!” The girls sang

“No fair!” Delia said

“No food!” Talia cried

“No fun!” Jessica moaned

“Big house!” The girls all sang

“And our fight had just begun. 'Cause it's freedom's flame. Velma'd like to douse. So we must break out of this” Christina sang

“Big Dollhouse” The girls all sang

“Penny, I can't take. All this waiting!” Melissa sang “I've lost my man. Plus, my hair's deflating!”

“Well Tracy, I hate to grumble or grouse” Jessica sighed

“But it's your fault that we're in, this big dollhouse!!” The girls all yelled

“Hey, cool it, ladies. No need to shout” Kristina said “And don't ya got an old man to bail you out?”

“Ha! Her daddy's a pervert, a loser, a souse!” Valerie laughed

“Well, it's just us girls. In the big dollhouse” Talia snarled

“Big house!” The girls sang

“God, I’m too young to fry!” Sarah cried

“Big house!”

“I'm busting out!” Talia sang

“Girl, so am I!” Christina sang

“Lady Justice, hear my plea! 'Cause the big dollhouse, the big dollhouse, the big dollhouse. Ain't big enough for me! For me! For me!” The girls all sang

“For me!!!” Talia belted

“Okay ladies recess is over!” Aspen said locking the cell “Time repay your debt to society and please keep in mind tipping IS permitted” She began to laugh “Tipping is permitted you shoulda seen your faces!” She laughed as she left the stage

“I didn’t think I’d live to have a rap sheet” Talia moaned “Oh if my mother were alive she’d be so proud. Remember your grandmother was a suffragette”

“Right!” Melissa grinned before turning to Valerie “You haven’t heard the last of us Mrs Von Tussle, we’ll be marching again and soon to the beat of a whole new era”

“Bang your drum hun, no one cares and don’t get any cute ideas about protesting or even bothering to show up at the special” Valerie snarled “I’ll have armed guards surrounding the eventorium to make sure to make sure Tracy get even get 100 miles within that place. Game, set, match”

"That's what I was just gonna say" Vanessa smirked to herself


“Okay so we’ve managed to make it through most of the second act without another accident, mishap or death” JP smiled “Maybe the saboteurs gave up?”

“Or maybe they’re just planning something huge” Kurt said worriedly

“Oh don’t worry Mr Hummel we are” Vanessa smirked as she winked at Jake

“Well Jessica’s freed Melissa from prison, and so all we have to wait for is Daniel to save Jessica whilst Jason mopes in the bedroom… so after Without Love we only have four more songs and we’re done for the night” Sugar grinned

“Please oh Lord let us make it” Angel sighed

“Once I was a selfish fool. Who never understood. Never looked inside myself. Though on the outside, I looked good!” Jason smirked as he sang “Then we met and you made me. The man I am today. Tracy, I'm in love with you. No matter what you weigh. 'Cause...”

“Without love. Life is like the seasons with no summer” Jason sang with The Cast “Without love. Life is rock 'n' roll without a drummer. Tracy, I'll be yours forever. 'Cause I never wanna be. Without love. Tracy, never set me free. No, I ain't lyin'. Never set me free, Tracy, no, no, no!”

“Living in the ghetto. Black is everywhere you go” Daniel sang as he cut Jessica from the bed “Who'd 've thought I'd love a girl. With skin as white as winter's snow”

“In my ivory tower. Life was just a hostess snack. But now I've tasted chocolate. And I'm never going back” Jessica belted

“'Cause without love. Life is like a beat that you can't follow” Daniel and Jessica sang with The Cast “Without love. Life is Doris Day at the Apollo. Darling, I'll be yours forever. 'Cause I never wanna be. Without love. So darlin' never set me free”

“Oh, I'm yours forever. Never set me free” Jessica and Daniel sang

“No, no, no!” They sang with The Cast

“If I'm left without my baby doll. I don't know what I'll do” Jason sang

“Link, I've got to break out. So that I can get my hands on you” Melissa sang

“And girl, if I can't touch you. I'm gonna lose control” Daniel sang

“Seaweed, you're my black white knight. I've found my blue-eyed soul” Jessica sang

“Sweet freedom is our goal!” Daniel sang with The Cast while Jake walked quietly on the catwalk above the stage

“Trace, I wanna kiss ya!” Jason yelled

“Let me out at the next toll!” Melissa belted as Jake cut the ropes of two sandbags slowly

“'Cause without love” The four sang with The Cast

“Life is like a prom that won't invite us” Daniel sang

“Without love”

“Life's getting my big break and laryngitis”

“Without love”

“Life's a '45 when you can't buy it”

“Without love”

“Life is like my mother on a diet!”

“Like a week that's only Mondays. Only ice cream, never sundaes” The whole group sang “Like a circle with no center. Like a door marked "do not enter!". Darlin' I'll be yours forever. 'Cause I never wanna be. Without love. Yes, now you've captured me. Without love. I surrender happily. Without love”

“Seaweed never set me free” Jessica belted

“No no no. I ain't lying. Never set me free. No no no. No I don't wanna live. Without love. Darlin' you have best believed me, never, ever leave me. Without love”

“LINK! Your pork is ready!” Talia called from offstage just as a sandbag fell hitting Melissa and knocking her out

“CLOSE THE CURTAIN!!!!” Kurt hissed

“OH MY GOD! MELISSA!” Sugar cried as she ran over “She’s barely breathing!”

“Call 911!” Angel snapped to Sarah

“Sure thing” Sarah said as she did what she was told

“Well you know what they say, the show must go on” Vanessa smirked

“You’re right Vanessa” JP sighed “Melissa is out Liz you’ll take her place”

“Me?” Liz said shocked

“Yes you. Now let’s get things ready for I Know” JP sighed


“There's a light.” Christina sang as she led the group of Detention Kids and Liz onto the stage “In the darkness. Though the night. Is black as my skin. There's a light. Burning bright. Showing me the way. But I know where I’ve been. There's a cry. In the distance.

“Oooh” Lucinda sang

“It's a voice. That comes from deep within”

“Yeah, yeah oh”

“There's a cry. Asking why. I pray the answer's up ahead, yeah. 'Cause I know where I’ve been. There's a road. We've been travelin'. Lost so many on the way. But the riches. Will be plenty. Worth the price. The price we had to pay.” Christina sang while Liz and The Detention Kids harmonised “There's a dream. In the future. There's a struggle. That we have yet to win. And there's pride. In my heart. 'Cause I know. Where I’m going. Yes I do! And I know where I’ve been. Yeah”

“There's a road” The group sang

“There's a road” Christina belted

“We must travel”

“We must travel”

“There's a promise”

“There is a promise”

“We must make”

“That we must make”

“But the riches”

“Oh but the riches”

“Will be plenty”

“The riches will be plenty”

“Worth the risk

“Worth the risk”

“And chances that we”

“And the chances that we”

“Take!” Christina and the group belted 

“There's a dream. Yeah yey yeah. In the future” Christina sang “There's a struggle. That we have yet to win. Use that pride. In our hearts. To lift us up. Until tomorrow, 'Cause just to sit still, would be a sin”

“I know it, I know it. I know where I’m going” The group

“Lord knows I know… Where I’ve been” Christina sang

“Oh! When we win, I'll give thanks to my god. 'Cause I know where I’ve been” Christina finished with the group


“Okay Bitchy Von Bitch” Riley snarled as she, Talia and Aspen stormed up to Vanessa

“Wow, how creative” Vanessa rolled her eyes

“Look we know you had a hand in what happened to Melissa” Aspen snarled

“And what if I did sweetie?” Vanessa smirked pushing Aspen backwards “I didn’t. But what if I did, what would you three losers do?” 

“What do you mean you didn’t?” Talia snarled

“I was standing next to Alyssa when the sandbags fell. I didn’t have a thing to do with it.” Vanessa smiled “Now if you’ll excuse me I have a character to play” She smiled as she walked away and got in formation

“She’s definitely behind this” Riley said

“Definitely” Aspen said glaring

"She said sandbag-s plural" Talia said "Only one fell"

"Told ya" Riley said as she walked onto the stage for (It's) Hairspray


Liz gulped heavily ‘here I go’ she thought as she walked down the stage towards Sarah

“You can't stop an avalanche. As it races down the hill. You can try to stop the seasons, girl. But ya know you never will.” Liz sang as she danced mocking Sarah “And you can try to stop my dancin' feet. But I just cannot stand still. Cause the world keeps spinnin’. Round and round. And my heart's keeping time. To the speed of sound. I was lost til' I heard the drums. Then I found my way.”

“Cause you can't stop the beat!” Liz and Jason sang “Ever since this old world began. A woman found out if she shook it. She could shake up a man. And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy it. The best that I can today. 'Cause you can’t stop. The motion of the ocean. Or the sun in the sky. You can wonder if you wanna. But I never ask why. And if you try to hold me down. I'm gonna spit in your eye and say. That you can’t stop the beat!”

“You can't stop a river. As it rushes to the sea” Jessica sang as she grabbed Daniel’s hand and started to dance with him

“You can try and stop the hands of time. But ya know it just can't be!” Daniel sang

“And if they try to stop us, Seaweed. I'll call the N Double A C P.” Jessica sang “Cause the world keeps spinning. Round and 'round. And my heart's keeping time. To the speed of sound. I was lost til I heard the drums. Then I found my way”

“Cause you can't stop the beat. Ever since we first saw the light. A man and woman liked to shake it. On a Saturday night” Jessica and Daniel sang “And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy it. With all my might today. 'Cause you can’t stop. The motion of the ocean. Or the rain from above. You can try to stop the paradise. We're dreamin' of. But you cannot stop the rhythm. Of two hearts in love to stay. Cause you can’t stop the beat!” Jessica grabbed Daniel and kissed him

“I am now a checkerboard chick!” She exclaimed as she moved out of Talia’s way

“Oh, oh, oh. You can’t stop my happiness. Cause I like the way I am.” Talia sang “And you just can't stop my knife and fork. When I see a Christmas ham. So if you don't like the way I look. Well, I just don't give a damn!” 

“Cause the world keeps spinning. Round and 'round” Talia sang with The Cast “And my heart's keeping time. To the speed of sound. I was lost til I heard the drums. Then I found my way. 'Cause you can’t stop the beat. Ever since this old world began. A woman found out if she shook it. She could shake up a man. And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy it. The best that I can today. Cause you can't stop. The motion of the ocean. Or the sun in the sky. You can wonder if you wanna. But I never ask why. And if you try to hold me down. I'm gonna spit in your eye and say. That you can’t stop the beat!”

“Step aside Miss Buttercup it’s time to wrap this mother up!” Christina said “Oh oh oh. You can't stop today”

“No!” The Cast yelled

“As it comes speeding down the track”


“Child, yesterday is hist'ry”

“It’s gone”

“And it's never coming back”

“Coming back”

“'Cause tomorrow is a brand new day” Christina sang with The Cast

“And it don't know white from black” Christina belted

“Yeah!” The Cast yelled

“'Cause the world keeps spinning. ’Round and 'round.” Christina sang with The Cast “And my heart's keeping time. To the speed of sound. I was lost til I heard the drums. Then I found my way. 'Cause you can’t stop the beat!”

“Ever since we first saw the light. A man and woman liked to shake it. On a Saturday night” The Cast all sang “And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy it. With all my might today. 'Cause you can't stop. The motion of the ocean. Or the rain from above. They can try to stop this paradise. We're dreaming of. But you can't stop the rhythm. Of two hearts in love to stay. You can't stop the beat! Aah, aah, aah. Aah, aah, aah. Aah, aah, aah. Come on you Vantussle's! Come and shake your fanny muscles!”

“But we can't” Sarah and Valerie groaned

“Yes you can” The Cast shouted

“But we can't” The pair shouted back

“Yes you can!” 

“Yes we can. You can't stop the beat” Sarah and Valerie sang “Ever since we first saw the sun. It seems Van Tussle girls are always tryin. Please someone. But now we're gonna shake and shimmy. And just have some fun today”

“And you can't stop. The motion of the ocean. Or the rain from above.” The whole cast sang as they danced around the stage “You can try to stop the paradise. We're dreaming of. But you cannot stop the rhythm. Of two hearts in love to stay. 'Cause you can't stop the beat. You can't stop the beat!! You can't stop the beat!! You can't stop the beat!! You can't stop the beat!!”


“Well that was amazing guys I want to thank you all so much for all the hard work you’ve put into this show” Kurt smiled at the cast as they sat in the auditorium the next morning “Unfortunately we still haven’t found the cause of Mr Dowell’s wardrobe malfunction, the lighting incident and Miss Potter being hit with a sandbag”

“But we’ve still got two shows to do so we’re optimistic that nothing more can go wrong” JP smiled

“McBeth!” Vanessa yelled

“ANNNDDD… She’s cursed us” Delia rolled her eyes


“Hey guys!” Jessica smiled as she joined the dance team

“Oh hey Jessie…” Lucinda trailed off

“You were amazing last night Lucinda!” Jessica smiled hugging her

“Look we’ve gotta run sorry Jess” Kyler sighed

“Wait what’s wrong?” Jessica asked confused

“You should be more careful about what you discuss in the water closet with your lady lover Jessie” Jenna Hamilton smiled as she walked over to Jessica “We know that you’re leaving us and as captain I’ve kinda already made sure the group don’t talk to you anymore. Let’s roll losers” Jenna smirked pushing her Armani shades back up her nose and starting to strut away

“Sorry J” Lucinda sighed

“We really are” Kyler said as they both hugged Jessica

“You’re always gonna be the older sister we never had” Lucinda grinned

“Well Best twins this is goodbye, for now. But if you’re ever in LA hit me up” Jessica grinned kissing them both gently on the forehead. A single tear fell as she watched them walk away  

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